eibborn: (oH)
eibborn ([personal profile] eibborn) wrote2011-03-16 03:34 am
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by the way, my (LJ) notifications don't work because LJ is a spammy bag of dicks

Ugh. I told my parents that I got diagnosed with depression and social anxiety and now they won't leave me alone. This is so dumb. So dumb. And tiring. I can't even object because really I'm pretty much useless at everything I've tried to accomplish in the past little while, so I guess I need them to hold my hand and clean up my stupid messes instead of letting me passively accept the consequences my dumb frustrating irrational behaviour and probably failing out of university, never getting a job, and never leaving my room slash roadside cardboard box slash correctional facility in some farflung alternate universe in which I have become a hardened criminal. And apparently gotten caught because, let's face facts, I'd be terrible at it.

So uh, I have those illnesses, which I guess I never mentioned in a blatant violation of the silly code I was trying to establish for myself, to be honest and unashamed about Things That Are True which I am pretty sure I mentioned in my journal a long time ago. So there. Obviously because I decided not to be ashamed of any aspect of me, I won't be, how's that for me being irrational in the hilariously optimistic direction? Whatever, shut up, I'm still doing that thing even if I'm bad at it. The optimism thing, apparently, and also the being not ashamed thing. Those things.

Now that I'm done vomiting melodrama of the hilariously immature variety, let's indulge in my current vehicle for escapism, because hey, I may as well be self-aware as long as I'm doing it. Also I swear to god if anyone starts taking the things I say seriously because of this I'll make a truly pathetic attempt at gnawing your face off. Because seriously, I poke fun at my quirks and am kind of sarcastic about myself in a mild kind of way on this thing all the time and if you read too far into it (or not far enough, I guess!) there's a chance you'll misunderstand my whimsical doubletalk.

Okay right, um, let's talk about the new Homestuck album instead! Or actually, just one song on it, which is actually a revamp of a different song, and that song is the one that I really wanted to talk about in the first place. So hey, okay, let's do this! The Alternia Theme did something that I thought was impossible: it broke through the thick callouses that have developed on my understanding of music. I mean, dang.

It's a melancholy piano theme, for christ's sake. It's such a desperate tug at the hearstrings. Melancholy piano themes are the sad child of music. If you want to make the viewers sad when they see your movie, you include a sad child with a speech impediment asking when daddy's coming home. If you want to make your listeners sad when they hear your song, you do a tinkly sad piano thing and suddenly everyone's weeping helplessly.

And I think that's it's really overdone! I was pretty sure that I was at the point where my immersion would be completely broken in the same way that sad children in movies do. Being aware that it's a shallow emotional grab effectively detaches me from the scene instead of drawing me in. Entertainment is all about emotional manipulation, but it stops working when you use the same tricks over and over!

So why is this song a punch in the gut to me? I'm not really sure! Maybe because it was composed without that agenda in mind, well before anyone knew how sad and involved the associated characters were going to be. Maybe because some wise guy copy/pasted Karkat's moment of helplessness into the comments below it, and I guess it's kind of sad thinking that he hasn't been really happy since his guardian died, even if he is ridiculously hyperbolic all the time and probably even there. Or I don't know, I guess that it might just be the ultimate fate of all the trolls. They've been through a lot, and not just in SGRUB. It doesn't matter, I guess! Whatever the reason, that's the only sad piano piece in years that has actually slipped through and gouged at my emotions.

So I was really excited to see it on the newest album, Alterniabound! Unfortunately, despite the fact that Alternia expands on its previous iteration beautifully, it sacrificed the simplicity that I guess really got to me. Maybe the reason it had a lesser effect on me is that the original didn't make use of the same emotional crescendos and decrescendos, it wasn't slow and hesitating, either. Maybe that's why it slipped under my radar, it didn't use as many of the usual tricks? But the point is that the new version didn't hit me all that hard at all until right near the end. For just a moment, it was beautiful, and it blew me away... and then the song continued. Dangit. If they'd ended it on the rest after the fermata just a few measures before the end, I'd have been in love. The chord would have been heartbreakingly and perfectly unresolved, and it would make me insane. Oh well, it's still a very nice song along with the rest of the album.

I'm especially pleased with the existence of Trollcops and She's A Sp8der! The former because hahaha Cop!Sollux is hilarious and the latter because I had no idea how much I wanted Vriska to have a Pirates of the Caribbean-inspired song until it actually happened. Arisen Anew is awfully -EXCITING, too, with its Dr. Who and Megane Luka samples! And, hehe, FIDUSPAWN, GO! gets special mention because of the Pokemon references.

Really, just go listen to this thing, gosh.

Hehe, in other news, a friend of mine is apparently reading webcomics! Some good, some less good. I showed her Homestuck and Basic Instructions, which I consider to be waaaay better than anything Tim B^Uckly could hope to produce. I didn't realize that I am kind of a webcomics snob until she said she'd been reading CAD and my automatic response was "oh no, but it's kind of bad compared to all these! :O " Which I guess makes me kind of a huge prick, but I didn't say it aloud, I just recommended things that I thought were better in a manner which I hope was appropriately mannerly.

That was a joke because I am always mannerly. Hoo hoo hoo.

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